​​​We are SOS (Survivors of Suicide) Orange County, CA

All of us here have lost a loved one to suicide.

Excerpt from Jack Bolton’s

“My Son, Too”

As I try to write about the pain we suffered following Mitch’s death,

I can’t help but recall

the private hurt that I experienced

during some of the visits

by friends and neighbors. 


While trying to do everything in their power toward helping me get through this tragedy, many could not imagine

how to deal with me or

what to say then and during

the weeks that followed.


So many came to the house,

met me in the street or saw me at work

and did not know how to say to me

that they knew I WAS SUFFERING


All too often I heard them say …

“Good to see you Jack, how is Iris doing?”

I guess I wanted to yell “Iris?

Of course,

ask about her – what about me?

How are YOU doing Jack?”

  • 3:05

Excerpt from Katherine Fair Donnelly's

"Recovering from the Loss of a Child "


The bereaved father suffers severely

in the lonely pew of suppressed grief.

He endures not only the psychological impact of losing his child,

but the fear of losing his masculine identity

by publicly displaying his distress.


In building an image to fit what our society expects,

a man who openly reveals his emotions during a time of tragedy

feels he is looked down upon in most quarters.  We are taught

to expect a “real” man to be strong under fire.

But what society does not fathom is that

the loss of a child doesn’t rank with other stress emotions;

it transcends the barrier of do’s and don’ts for emotional behavior.


The honest gut emotion of cleansing the soul with tears of grief

is akin to lancing a wound to drain the infection.

A man or woman is entitled to the right of expiating sorrow.

Men should be made aware that it is natural for them

to experience the same emotional upheaval

in grieving the death of a child that women do.


In suffering a loss of such magnitude, it is natural and

NOT un-masculine – for a man to find himself dealing

with periods of anger, guilt, moroseness, anxiety,

frustration, and other real and gnawing thoughts.

Grief is a period of adjustment – for men, as well as women.

​​​Some Thoughts About Fathers

What GOD Hath Promised
 
God hath not promised skies always blue   
Flower-strewn pathways, all our lives through

God hath not promised sun without rain,
Joy without sorrow, Peace without pain.
 
God hath not promised we shall not know
Toil and temptation, trouble and woe
 
He hath not told us we shall not bear
Many a burden, many a care
 
God hath not promised smooth roads and wide,
Swift, easy travel, needing no guide
 
Never a mountain, rocky and steep
Never a river turbid and deep
 
But God hath promised strength for the day
Rest for the labor, light for the way
 
Grace for the trials, help from above
Unfailing sympathy, undying love.
 
~  Annie Johnson Flint  ~